These past couple of weeks have been really hard... I've been solo parenting while hubs is working long days in the city I've been manning the house solo. And more than I'd like to admit, I've done some yelling and loss my sh*t a few too many times. And I've been feeling like the worse mama. At the end of most nights I'm laying in bed and feeling so guilty of how I should of handled the whole situation instead of yelling at my little girl. Some nights I've cried as I looked at both of their sweet little faces and just want to wake them up and say how sorry I am for yelling or loosing my sh*t. I've felt like a terrible mom, not giving enough attention, not making the right dinner or trying to rush our special reading time before bed because I have so much laundry to do and the mountain of dishes that need to be cleaned.
Like today for instance I yelled at Tuyet because as soon as we got into the house she threw her jacket on the floor and ran to her room and played or got really mad when my little guy thought it'd be funny to rip all the flyers that got delivered to our house today. I'm feeling especially guilty because I made mac and cheese out of the box and totally forgot about Tuyet's special helper day and I was suppose to come in a read a story to tall her friends at school. So it's been a sucky day to say the least. Finally I stopped myself as we we're going through our night routine and played some music and we had a dance party. The three of us jumping around and dancing on the bed. It not only brightened their mood it actually made me feel a bit better as well.
So long story short mamas if your feeling like the worst mama right now, your not alone and definitely don't beat yourself up about it because if you we're a bad mama, you wouldn't be feeling guilty right now and questioning whether or not your a bad mom, you wouldn't be crying in the dark in bed, you wouldn't let the guilt taunt you and torture you. You wouldn't be apologizing, feeling remorse. All the feelings and regret your having is actually showing what a loving mama you are. I'd say consider this when your feeling guilty, when the voice of doubts creep in, consider that the mac and cheese out of the box never killed any kid, nor did a few tv shows.
I'm not always proud of my actions... I've made so many mistakes--- here's the big tipper "We all make mistakes", but maybe mistakes aren't bad, their great life lessons to do better the next day. They've definitely helped me grow as a mama, wife, friend and help my children grow as well.
Here are some great tips I've found that have really helped with solo parenting:
1. When your partner is home, have them help you pre-make lots of frozen meals, so you won't be scrambling during the week of what to make for dinner.
2. Have your children help you make their own lunches, not only will it help you do one more less thing, it helps your kiddo feel like a big adult.
3. Don't be afraid to ask for help because chances are your mama friend is probably needing some help as well so why not tag team with your mama friend and not do it alone.
4. If your list of chores don't get done, there is always tomorrow, so what if you have one more load of laundry to do
5. The dishwasher is your best friend and bonus if you let your kiddos help load the dishwasher that's another thing you don't have to stress about doing.
6. If you start the kiddos night routine earlier it'll make it much less stressful so you don't feel like there won't be enough time for the cuddles and bed time stories.
If there is one thing I want you mamas to take out of all of this is to lower your expectations. Most likely you expect 150% of yourself all the time and it's not realistic. This doesn't mean let your kiddos run wild. This means going easier on yourself if it's not going the way you planned.